THE A-Z of GEEZER
In whick BIF lets fly with the most cherishable in Geezer vernacular. Learn each word and its usages and become a veritable diamond over night. Impress your friends, hang about outer London and make new friends with names like Nutter, Bird Magnet, the Old Dear, Knee Cap Norm and Guy Ritchie.

So let us begin at the source of all Geezer Talk:

A - Arsehole. Arse Bandit. A-rab (person of Middle Eastern extraction). Arris (convoluted Cockneyism: Arris = Aristotle = bottle = bottle & glass = arse. 'Move your 'arris'.

B - Blag (1 to lie, 2a job involving lying and stealing), Bastard, Bloke, Bird, Banged up, Blimey (see 'Cor') Brick Shithouse ('Gary Girth is built like a ....'), Bow Bells.

C - Capri (Ford 2.8i), Cash, China (China plate = mate), Clink ('Malcy the Greek is in the ...'), Cor! (exclamation of surprise, traditionally 'Cor Blimey'), Class ('My bird has got...','the Jag is a ker-larssy motor'), Cop (1To...this,that, 2To...an earful; 3 the police, see also 'filth', 'rozzers'.

D - Damage ('What's the ...' - how much does it cost?), Diamond Geezer (man of exceptional standing). Dirty (doing the ...), Do (to 'do' him/her - to caused bodily harm, to kill), Doolally.

E - Effin' this, effin that. Each way (safe bet - see 'Lightweight').

F - Filth (the, see 'Cop', 'Rozzers'), Facker (derivation of 'Fucker')

G - Geezer (Good bloke), Grass (a...), Ga-ga (going, gone..., see 'Doolally'), Glitter ('E's a ....', a man with sexual feelings for young boys, derived from the derogatory terrace chant, 'He's a Gary Glitter, he takes 'em up the sh*tter'), God rest 'er/'is soul (used in reference to departed hoodlums/family), Gee-gees (horses, not to be confused with the once populat beat combo 'The BeeGees'), Greasy (from Greasy sock = Jock. see 'J'). Guv, gaffer (the governor, the boss, also a term used when addressing a person of unknown standing). G, Grand (wallet filler, see 'wedge').

H - Hairy (a long-haired, shabby person, possibly a student). Her indoors (see 'Missus, The'), Honky.

I - I-tie (person of Italian extraction). I-jit (idiot, usually 'a fucking ...'). Innit? (Sentence closer, always).

J - Jag. Juicy (overflowing with goodness, i.e. 'that bank is juicy'). Jellied Eels - (Pub Snack favoured by those resident in the East of London). Jock (person of Scottish descent, see 'Greasy'.

K - Knickers. Kicking (to administer 'a right good...').

L - Lightweight (a person who cannot take a kicking/15 pints or blow an O.A.Ps legs off), Lolly ('Me old man made a packet of ...on the gees-gees'. See also 'Wedge'.) Loads ('Givin' it...of this, ...of that'), Leg over (to get one's...), Lady (a Lady Godiva = fiver, see 'Mickey Mouse Money').

M - Motor (My), Missus (the...), Malarkey (Nonsense, 'What's all this...'), Monkeys (to not give a..., see 'toss'). Mouthing off (being unnecessarily loquacious, may lead to 'kicking'), Mick (A, person of Irish birth), Mickey Mouse Money (sod all: peanuts - as in 'if you pay peanuts you get monkeys'), Minces (Mince pies = eyes 'keep your minces on the I-tie, he may have a shooter in his sky')

N - Nous (to have a bit of...'savvy'), Nifty (a nifty fifty, £50).

O - Off (to...him/her: to kill), Old Kent Road (Original Geezer Mecca), Old Bill (The...), Old Man ('My...'s a dustman' and other such marlarkey), Other (an indefinable something, 'this, that and the...')

P - Pub, Ponce, Prick, Prick-tease, Pie and a Pint, Pony (1 monetary denomination, 2 racing animal upon which wagers are placed), Porridge (to do ... in the clink/slammer). Pie & Mash, Poofter (another masculine male, not a geezer).

Q - Queers, Quality (see 'cer-lars/class'), Queen ('me muvva was a ...God rest 'er soul').

R - Readies (the...), Rozzers (The; see 'Filth', 'Cops', 'Titheads'), rub-a-dub-dub (Universal synonym for the Pub despite quadrupling the original word in length).

S - Sparklers (Diamonds, 'Mad Kenny copped an earful of the sparklers' blag on the Old Kent Road and fancied a bit of a 'tickle'), Savvy (the sole Gallic contribution to Geezerspeak: to have savoir faire; see 'nous'), Shooter, SOS (sawn-off shotgun), Sheepskin (coat),Skirt ('a bit of ...', see 'bird'), Sky (Sky Rocket = pocket; home of the wedge), Slammer (the ...; where geezers 'do' porridge and learn their trade), Slapper (a woman morally beneath the accuser's mother), Sovereign ring, Sweeney (the...).

T - Tealeaf, The Trifle (a rifle), Tart, Towel-head (a gentleman of the Sikh faith), Taffy (a Welsh person), Tooled up, Tosser.

U - Uncouth ('It's uncoof, innit?', unsophisticated behaviour, especially by a Wet).

V - Veras (Vera Lynns = skins = cigarette papers, see 'wacky baccy'), Villan (a nice geezer).

W - Wacky baccy (iffy fags, rastafarian tobacco), Wanker, Wedge (cash, usually kept 'in your sky'; see 'wonga'), Wet ('... behind the ears'), Wop (a person with Italian or Spanish heritage), Wigwam (Mad; 'that geezers gone totally wigwam, doolally, yanowatimean?'), Wonga.

X - Xenophobia ('Wassat? A new type of washing machine?' No, it's a rarely understood concept in geezer circles').

Y - Yob, Yeti (a big geezer), Yanowatimean? (a perennial colloquialism, see 'innit?')

Z - Zulu (a tall African gentleman), Z-car.